The Bull Met Santa Claus at Hard Rock...

and he's been a believer ever since.


However, at the beginning of November, he was a non-believer. He swore up and down that there was no such thing as Santa Claus. He told Daddy he was a liar. He told Ray she was silly. He told me, well, nothing. But I heard everything else he said to the others.


And then we went to Universal Studios in Orlando for the weekend after Thanksgiving and had dinner at Hard Rock at City Walk. And HE was THERE.






SANTA.


Himself.


Oh. My. Goodness.




Chay was star struck. And has been a believer ever since.

I don't know this man's real name, but I send a huge Thank You to you for helping my little boy believe in Santa Claus!

What Am I Going to Do with Him?

Chay has become quite the handful now that he is three. Oh, don't believe me? Let the following serve as Exhibit A:

It was my turn to pick up the kids from daycare and I arrived around 5 pm. As I walked passed Chay's room on my way to get Ray, I glanced in the window and saw the teacher reading a book to the class with all the kids sitting quietly around her entranced. There were three boys and one girl, small because it was the end of the day.

I grabbed Ray and her stuff, which took maybe 5 minutes, if that. By the time I returned to Chay's class to get him, two of the little boys are standing on chairs in front of the closet and Chay was on his way to grab his own. The little girl was minding her own business playing with the books. The teacher was no where to be found. By the time the scene soaked in, Chay was up on the chair stretching as high as he could to lock the closet door.

Well, that's odd…so, I asked, "Hey, guys, where's your teacher?"

A knock from inside the closet was my answer.

I should have been horrified that they locked their teacher in the closet, but all I could do was laugh as she sheepishly looked at me when I let her out.

Oh, still don't believe me? How about this one:

Chay and Ray were in the guest bedroom watching a movie one Friday evening snacking on Cheerios. Chay came flying out of the room screaming and trying to blow his nose. I looked up his right nostril and it was red and I could see what looked like a Cheerio jammed up as far as he could get it. Great, but not the end of the world.

I assumed we could dissolve it so we basically water boarded him in an attempt to get it out. As his nose got redder and more swollen, it was harder to see whether the Cheerio was there so we made the assumption he had either inhaled it or it dissolved. He had stopped crying, but it was understandably still tender. He went back to watching the movie and I went back to Facebook.
We watched him over the weekend. He continued to have a tender nose and it sounded like he was still having trouble breathing. Finally, on Monday, I called his pediatrician and scheduled an appointment because clearly something was still wrong. She ended up sending us to an Ear, Nose and Throat doc. We went to that appointment and sure enough, that Cheerio was still up there. Of course, Chay wouldn't let him anywhere near his nose, so we had to schedule surgery so they could put him under. Surgery. For a Cheerio. Classic.

After the surgery, which took all of two minutes, the doctor came out with a funny grin. Turns out that Cheerio was actually a small brown bead that looks like a Cheerio. A $750 bead by the time it was all said and done with.

I'm saving that bead to give him as his 18th birthday present.

Some Battles Are Just Not Worth Fighting

While I was getting ready for the day the other morning, Chay came in waving a placemat at me. D'wha?

Chay: Not a pla'mat it a napkin!

Me: Uhm. Ok.

Chay: No, not OK!!!! It a napkin not a pla'mat!

Me: Baby, if you want to call the placemat a napkin, you go right ahead.

Chay: NOOOOOOO! It napkin not a pla'mat!

Me: Whatever, its a napkin.

Chay: Yeah. That's it.

A Lesson in Facials by Captain Mischievious

Our weekend was spent in Potty Training Boot Camp. It was pretty successful. Chay earned nine, count 'em nine, stickers for peeing on the potty. No poopies on the potty, but we can't expect too much on the first weekend of Boot Camp. (Sorry for the poopy talk. I promise it won't happen again.)

Chay shows off his new sticker

We didn't leave the house often, what with him wearing no pants and all. So Chay decided he was going to teach a lesson on facial expressions...

Mad Face

Happy Face

Power to the People Face

Just my plain ol' Mr. Mischievious Face

Oh, wondering what is all over his face? My eyeliner. His face is nothing compared to what my sheets look like.

She's Quotable.

Ray: "When I was a baby, I saw a rainbow dolphin riding on a rainbow at the beach. I knew she was a girl because she had a tattoo like a fairy on her back."

Uhmmm....... OK.

___________________________

Ray: "Look, its a chick with a pony tail!"

(Referring to a man with a pony tail. He looked at her a little funny.)

___________________________

Ray: "I don't flush the toilet because when I go in the middle of the night I want you to see it and know that I went and tell me 'hey, Ray, did you go potty in the middle of the night? Good job!"

Then later - E: "Ray, tell Mommy why you don't flush the toilet."

Ray: Mmmm...... I don't know.

E: See, I told you it was all crap...

Mickey Fanatic

Ray is on a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse kick. Its all she wants to watch - morning, noon, and night. She cried when E said that I might pick them up from school. You see, I don't have a DVD player in my car. Normally, its a good thing that I'm picking them up. But, no, I've been kicked to the curb for Mickey.

She came up with this game that only girls are allowed to play...

We vote on who has the prettiest clothes on. Winner gets to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Forever. She voted on herself and I voted on me. Funny thing happened. Somehow she won.

Guess who's watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse?

Captain Mischievious

The Bull, as we tend to call him more often than not these days, is the King of Mischief.

See that look on his face? That is a classic Chay look meaning, "I'm going to do exactly what you told me not to do 'cuz I think its funny." This picture was taken shortly after we told him that the egg would crack if he dropped it from that height. He dropped it anyway, and guess what happened...the egg cracked and splashed egg coloring vinegar all over the place. Man, he cried after that one. First, he hates broken Easter eggs. And he hates the smell of vinegar all over him even more.

You can't leave The Bull alone anywhere near even potential writing materials...

Found using my mascara

And you certainly can't take your eye off of him when he's painting!

Was he trying to give himself a beard?

The Bull knows that I am deathly afraid of spiders. Today, he hid one of his toy spiders somewhere he knew I would find it in an attempt to scare me. I know this, because moments before I found the (very real looking) spider, he had that classic Chay look. While he was running away from me. Even knowing he was up to something, I screamed at the sight of a huge spider sitting by my computer. Grrrr.

He's a handful, yes. But how could you not love the little Bull?

The (Air)Bus

We recently flew to DC, and it was only the second time Chay has flown. The first time was to fly to the same place for his baptism/1st birthday party, and he doesn't remember that one. We flew JetBlue. The only way to go with kids - free cartoons right in the seats!

We bought him his own seat this time, even though he could have sat on my lap. It would have saved us $300 but it also would have made me crazy being forced to watch cartoons and deal with his wiggly butt on me for 2 1/2 hours. You know what is coming next, right? He sat on my lap the entire time and took a nap for half the trip. Both ways. On the positive side, I was able to watch Ellen while he slept.

While in the airport he was obsessed with the planes. "Its an erplain mommy, its an erplain!"

But when it was time to get on the plane? Not so much. "No, mommy, I don't want to get on the erplain. No erplains, mommy!"

So, being the great parents we are, we told him it was a bus. "Oh. OK, its a bus. Dat OK." Buses, OK. Check. Erplains, not so much.

It took him about a half hour into the flight (both ways, mind you) to realize that we really were on a plane. He would look out the window, see the clouds, and announce loudly enough for the entire plane load of passengers to hear, "Hey, mommy! We not on a bus! We on a erplain! You lied. Bad, mommy!"

He's brilliant, that one. And a tattle tale.

Chay's Joke

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Chay.

Chay who?

Chay wants to come in.

Flippin' brilliant.

Dinosaurs

E taped Jurassic Fight Club on the History Channel for Chay, because he is such a huge dinosaur fan (is there a two year old boy that isn't?). We are watching it right now, and I feel like I am listening to finger nails scraping the chalkboard repeatedly.

If there isn't a dinosaur on the screen, Chay is yelling, "I want the dinosaurs!"

If a dinosaur is on the screen, and it happens to be a small one, we hear, "I want the big dinosaurs!"

If its a big dinosaur, he yells, "ROOOOOAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!!", directly in your ear. While scratching on you. That feels really nice, by the way.

The show is educational, and I am happy to let him watch educational shows that he finds entertaining.

Oh, wait, I need to take a break from the blog because Chay says, "I want dinosaurs! Dinosaurs, look at that dinosaurs! Moon. I want dinosaurs. Dinosaur! Two dinosaurs. Long dinosaur. I want dinosaurs!"

OK, commercial. Back to the blog.

As I was saying, the show is educational. Apparentally, he has learned what dinosaurs eat -

Chay - Dinosaurs eat.

Me - Dinosaurs eat what?

Chay - Dinosaurs eat cheese.

Me - Did you say dinosaurs eat cheese?

Chay - Yup. Dinosaurs eat cheese. Yummy.

Hmmm. OK. Maybe its not so educational but it sure is entertaining....

A Super Special Secret Surprise

While visiting the Magic Kingdom on a recent weekend with the kids' Godparents and their bestest friend ever, Peanut Butter, a Disney employee stopped the girls to chat. After a few minutes, she asked PB and Ray whether they wanted to come inside one of the shops for an "Extra Special Surprise!" Well, of course, they do, silly. They are 4 and 5 year old girls!

We had a private meeting with Cinderella! And she was just as Princessy as the girls' expected her to be.

Ray's reaction to meeting Cinderella was priceless.

Ray was so excited that every sentence was emphasized with a leg kick and she literally bounced off the walls. She told Cinderella that she loves her Castle, but sorry, her favorite princess is Ariel. Cinderella took that in stride because PB comforted Cinderella by telling her she was her favorite.

Ray and Peanut Butter danced with Cinderella

Chay, however, did not believe that Cinderella was real. His entire visit with her was met with skepticism and boredom. His most exciting time with her was when they listened to the train go by.

Chay and Cinderella listen to the train

PB and Ray, on the other hand, fully believed in her reality and fell instantly in love.

Oh, to be so gullible again...

He Pooped on the Potty

And he said, "I pooped an 'S'!"

No Chay's Allowed!

At times, Ray gets tired of having a little brother, and in a way I don't blame her. He really can be annoying in the way that he is constantly poking, prodding, and pulling at her. You know when he's going to mess with her, too, because he gets an evil grin just like Chucky. I can also see why she finds it all that much more annoying that he finds it hysterical that she finds it annoying.
After a particularly frustrating day with Chay one recent weekend, Ray decided she needed a sign on her door so that Chay knew he wasn't invited inside any more. This is what she made:



I have to say, that's a pretty good sign made by a 4 1/2 year old. But I find it all that more impressive that she knew to draw a picture of a boy with big hands just like her brother and to put a big X over him.

Now that's funny.

My Salesmen

Our neighborhood had a community-wide yard sale this past weekend. So we dragged out a bunch of old toys and baby clothes and hung outside all morning with the kids.

The turnout was pretty good, and Ray and Chay really put their heart into selling our stuff, which really entertained our customers.

We had a bunch of those plastic balls that come with all the baby toys these days laying out, and every time a new person approached us, he would run over to them and yell, "Look, we got balls! We got balls! Look, balls!"

Unfortunately, his approach didn't work. We didn't sell any balls.

Ray decided that she was ready to sell her blue fairy dress up dress. So, any time someone had a little girl with them, she would show the dress off and try to get her to try it on. She really did a sales job too, showing off the wings and pointing out why it would be a really great purchase.

Unfortunately, we didn't sell the fairy dress either.

I don't think they have a future in sales.

I Don't Like 2 1/2 Year Old Boys

I don't mean that really, but seriously, he's hell on wheels.


That's a whole roll of toilet paper stuffed into the toilet. By Chay. He spent ten minutes in time out plus a spanking for that one.

He spent nap time on Saturday painting his room in poop. Two hours after we put him down for his nap, he wandered out with no pull up and crusty poop on his butt. When we went to investigate where his actual diaper was, we discovered poop all over the white nursing chair I was getting ready to sell, his toys, and his wall. Thankfully he left his bed alone because while I can spare the nursing chair, I can't trash his bed.

He's also figured out how to unlock all of our doors, both leading outside and in. The sliding glass door that has double locks? Yeah, he's got it. The door leading to the garage. Simplicity. Two times this weekend we found ourselves chasing the little escape artist around the yard to rangle him back inside. Erik spent today installing a third lock on the sliding glass door and deadbolts (up high) on the rest of the doors leading to the outside.

He's a pickpocket, too. He routinely steals things - Ray's dolls, E's small tools, my lotions, for example - and hides them. You don't realize it until its too late and they are totally missing. Its taken us a few weeks, but we think we've figured out his favorite hiding places. But every once and a while he breaks out a new one and my favorite lotion is missing for months.

I don't think I'm going to survive the three year stage...

He's a Big Boy Now

I've been forced (I'm still fighting it, but its going forward without my approval) to realize that Chay is not a baby anymore. We're making changes. Big changes. Big Big Changes.

And, he's rolling with it.

We converted his crib to a toddler bed yesterday. He slept through the whole night! When I went in to check on him this morning, he was sitting quietly on his floor playing. That went much smoother than Ray's first night in the toddler bed. She woke me up that night screaming because she managed to wedge herself between the headboard and the wall. Don't ask why she climbed behind the bed, because I don't know.

We also gave up the high chair officially. He was so proud sitting at the table next to his sister eating off his plastic plate.

And, finally, the big news. He's peed twice on the potty by his own request.

Progress.

The Bull Hurts

Chay had an erection today, which apparentally took him by surprise. E said that he came running down the hallway bottomless with diaper in hand yelling,

"DAAAAAADDDDDDYYYYYYYYY, the bull hurt!"

"DAAAAAADDDDDDYYYYYYYYY, the bull hurt!"

All the while grabbing himself.

So, please tell me. Do you laugh? You obviously can't explain an erection to a 2 1/2 year old. E just calmed him down and told him everything was OK and that it was a normal effect of being a boy.

Then he called me laughing his ass off...

Weather Wimps

Its cold. Really, really cold. It is not supposed to be 30 degrees when I wake up. Maybe if I were in DC again, but no, not here in Florida. Its.just.plain.wrong.

So, imagine my surprise when I went to leave for work today, five minutes late of course, and I find a layer of ice on my windowshield. Ice? Seriously? How am I supposed to get that off? I don't even own an ice scraper!

I ended up leaving the car running with defrost on high heat for ten minutes to get rid of it. All that did was end up making me 15 minutes late for work. No wonder I left the cold north for the "heat" of Fort Myers.

Ray doesn't understand the cold. She repeatedly says, "Mommy, we're in Florida, its not supposed to be cold. Its not like we're in Virginia."

When we woke up to frost, her immediate response was, "Hey! It snowed!" She wanted to go out to build snowmen. And buy a winter coat. She really hates the cold.

You Know She's Sick When...

...She puts herself to bed at 7:30. Normal nights we're forcing her to go at 8:30, and she manages to stall until 9. Not tonight. She was begging to go to bed.

Ray rarely gets sick. I can count on one hand how many fevers she's had. Chay, on the other hand, is always sick. I don't remember the last time he didn't have a runny nose, and he has a fever at least once a month.

So, when Ray crawled into my lap last night at 6:00 burning up, heart racing, and proceeded to fall asleep, I was worried. I know, its just a cold. But she never gets sick!

Obviously, she caught whatever E and Chay had a day or two before. But they shook it off within 12 hours. Little Ray's immunity hasn't built itself up quite as much because her body just isn't used to getting sick. Isn't it weird how that happens?

She refuses to admit she's sick though. "I'm not sick, mommy. I'm just cold." Then she shivers a fake little shiver. It would be cute if it wasn't so pathetic.

The Holidays In Review

Ray and I were discussing the order in which the holidays fall, and she had the following commentary for each:

Valentine's Day is OK because you get to give some people hugs. I don't like to give everyone hugs though, just the people that I like.

I like Easter cuz you get to pick up eggs.

Halloween is fun because you can dress up like a princess.

I don't like Thanksgiving though, because the slides at the soccer fields are closed and you make me eat too much food.

Christmas is OK, only because you get presents and stuff.

*****

I love the mind of a 4 1/2 year old.