Monday, September 1, 2008

Of Wishes and Dreams: Big Brothers

I am an only child. But growing up, I wanted an older brother SO BAD. I always pictured that perfect older brother: someone to protect me from those mean kids who picked on me in elementary school, someone to beat up that mean boy that I happened to be dating and cheated on me, or just a boy to be my best friend and help guide me through the trials and tribulations of young adulthood.

Of course, the beatings, tauntings and agony that imaginary older brother could cause never entered my mind.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was positive it was going to be a boy - no doubt in my mind. We didn't know at that time whether we were going to have another child, but if we did, I was going to give whoever that second kid was a big brother.

At my 20 week ultrasound, we found out that "Herman" was a girl, and I was thrilled. My first thoughts during that ultrasound were, "Does she have all its limbs and look healthy?" Then, I'd be less than honest if I didn't admit that my second thought was "Damn, looks like she's not going to have that big brother either!"

Twenty-two months later, I got that boy. I was wrong to think it would be better any other way.

Chay is all boy x 10. And, the best thing yet, he loves his big sister. When he wakes up, his first question is "Where is Ray"?

Ray is a little mom to him, constantly giving him hugs and kisses. She watches out for him and makes sure that his needs are met, even at the sacrifice of her own (granted, she'll make sure you know she's given up something and beg for an extra special treat).

She makes sure he is fed, and she makes sure he is happy. Ray interprets for us when we can't understand his form of English. And, when she can't even understand, well, she just looks at me and says "That's your job."

If he's unhappy, Ray will make sure she tells me even though I know by the screams he is letting out through the house. She'll also make sure to tell me when he hits her in the eye with sunglasses, which may lead to an unfortunate black eye. But we won't talk about that right now.

The scary thing is that people think they are twins. At 22 months apart, they wear the same size shoe. Ray still wears a size 3T, while Chay is starting to grow out of 2T already. Ray weighs 33 pounds; Chay is 31 pounds. He is only an inch shorter than she is. Needless to say, she isn't going to have to need an OLDER brother to be her enforcer.

And what is my lesson in wishing? Don't wish. I'm going to get what I get, and it looks like I got what I deserved. Ray has her big brother. He's just not going to be older than her.


Lipstick said...

Precious post. I am an only child too and I love having a boy and a girl too.

Melodie said...

I always wished I was an only child because I grew up with brothers. When I was a younger child, I wished for a sister, and even hid my mother's birth control pills to try to get one. (I was five then.)
I never got my sister, and my brothers never disappeard (I actually got a third one when I was almost 22), but I did end up with three beautiful little girls and I couldn't be more thrilled.