Thanks. You Earned It.

I asked Ray and Chay what they were thankful for this morning. Ray gave the appropriate responses, kinda, and Chay, not so much. I didn't either, much to E's chagrin.

Ray: I'm thankful for Em, my mommy, and Miss Nicole. Oh, and my brother, Chay.

E: You're not thankful for Daddy?

Ray: No, Daddy. I had to tell you to stop snoring two times last night. I'm not thankful for you.

E: But I'm thankful for you!

Ray: Two times, Daddy. I had to tell you two times not to snore! I am not thankful for you.

And then there's Chay --

Me: Chay, what are you thankful for?

Chay: Cars are yucky.

Me: What?

Chay: Cars are yucky.

Me: Ok, that doesn't even make sense.

Chay: Cars are yucky.

Me: Whatever you say, Al Gore.

Chay: I not Al Go. I Chay.

Me: Whatev.

And then there's me. I'm thankful that E let me sleep in this morning and dealt with Ray at 5 am. I'm also thankful he was the one sleeping with her in the guest room at 7 am when she wet the bed. Tee Hee.

Obsessed, Part 2

Turns out I'm not the only one obsessed with Twilight. That's good. I'm normal, well, as normal as any adult woman obsessed with a pre-teen saga can be.

I introduced my friend, Dre, to the first book last Monday by lending it to her. She was done with it by Wednesday. I've since given her books two and three which she planned on completing over the weekend.

Dre's friend has also already started the fourth book, having started the first one right around the same time I did. Laura said she feels like Bella, she just can't get enough.

A co-worker read all four books in a week, too, complaining that now she's twiddling her thumbs wondering what to read next. She's seriously thinking about reading them all again.

My girl, Melodie, is in on the obsession too.

And, of course, we're all going to see the movie. Duh.

What is it about a series of books written for teenage girls that has a bunch of grown women, literally, addicted?

Is it the romance? Do we want an Edward in our lives? Or maybe the more down to earth Jacob? Is it the danger? The imminent threat to Bella?

I haven’t been able to pin down exactly what it is about the books that affected me so much, but I can say unequivocally, that I love the world in which Bella and Edward exist. Are the books imperfect? Yes. There are things about each book that drove me absolutely crazy. I hate it, for instance, when something is introduced into a book and then has absolutely nothing to do with the plotline, which became infuriating during the fourth book. The endings were anti-climactic and predictable. Jacob was always annoying and Edward was way too forgiving of him. But the overall story was captivating.

Its been brought up before that these books are inappropriate for young girls. I have to say that my initial reaction was along those lines as well. But now that I'm done with the whole series, I disagree. Would I let my 11 year old daughter read the books? Perhaps not, but maybe depending on her maturity level. Would I let my 17 year old read them? Absolutely.
The sexual tension is strong, undoubtedly. But, there's no sex until the fourth book and that doesn't occur until after they are married. That's the key here. Edward teaches restraint and old fashioned ideals. He is, after all, over 100 years old. And the sex parts are written much tamer than some TV shows that are on at the 8:00 hour. In my opinion, there are things much worse that young girls could be doing than reading a love story about vampires.

So, now I'm done. We're off to see the movie tomorrow night, and I have very low expectations. I really do feel lost though. I need a new diversion. Anyone have any suggestions?

The Chicken vs. The Rooster - The Chicken Won

A commercial with a rooster came on the other day, which prompted the following conversation between Ray and Chay:

Chay: Chicken!

Ray: No, Chay. That's a Rooster.

Chay: No Chicken!

Ray: No it’s a Rooster! A Rooster is a different kind of chicken.

Chay: See it a Chicken! Cluck cluck cluck.

Ray: No Roosters don't cluck cluck. They cockadoodledooooooooooooo.

Chay: No, cluck cluck. It a chicken.

Ray: But don't you hear it cockadoodledoing on the tv? See its doing it right now. It’s a rooster.

Chay: Nope. Chicken. It clucks.

Ray: Grrrrrrrr! ITS. A. ROOSTER!!!! (Yelling in Chay's face in frustration by now).

Chay: Nope. Chicken. (With a dirty little grin on his face).

Ray: CHAY! Listen to me! It. is. a. rooster.

Chay: Chicken.

Ray: FINE! I give up.

Chay: See, it a chicken.

Obsessed

That's the only way I can describe it. I started reading "Twilight" on Sunday. I was done with it by Monday morning.

So, of course, I needed to go get the second book, "New Moon," immediately after work yesterday. I only have 62 pages left. I'll be done with it before the kids go to bed.

Think I'm stopping by the book store yet again tonight? I plan to have all four books read by Friday, Saturday at the latest.

I can do this.

That's Her Deal (So, I Guess I Just Have to Deal with It)

We've been having issues with sleeping in our own beds lately (OK, Ray has had issues with it. I've just been forced to sleep in the guest room with her.) We had the following conversation last night --

Me: Ray, are you going to sleep in your bed all night tonight like you promised?

Ray: That depends, Mommy. When you're awake and I'm asleep, I'll sleep in my bed all night. But when you're asleep and I'm asleep I'll sleep with you. That's my deal.

Me: Excuse me? I don't think I understand.

Ray: Moooommmyyyy. When you are awake, I will sleep in my bed. When you sleep and I sleep I will sleep with you. That's my deal. Leave it or take it.

I told her I'd leave it but it didn't work.

Poser

Ray became a model this weekend and practiced her posing. We're not sure where she got it from, but it made for some funny pictures:

Wrong kind of pose there, Sweety

Much better, thanks!

Let's Talk About Hosiery

I'm interrupting my regular programming for this public service announcement --

Ladies, let’s ban together and ban pantyhose from our wardrobes. Let’s face it, pantyhose are just plain ugly. Don't wear them. Period.

But if you insist on wearing them, let's follow a few simple rules, shall we?

1. Drop the word panty. It’s one of those words that should be banned from the English language. I don't know why but when I hear that word it crawls under my skin and scratches at me for hours. From here on out, it’s just hose, ‘k?

2. Hosiery is not meant to be worn with open toed shoes, especially if they have a reinforced toe. I know, I know, the trend right now is to wear dark hose with dark peep toe shoes, which can be fine assuming everything is black. But strappy sandals with nude hose -- a big no no. If your feet are cold, put on socks and boots. Or try some closed toed heels. There are some really sweet shoes out there when you look for the right style.

3. If you wear an ankle bracelet, take it off before putting on the hose. A scrunched up anklet is tacky, not cute.

Finally, I realize there is a place for hose and all things hosiery. A cool skirt with black tights and boots is a stylish look. And there are certain (archaic) places that require a dress code which mandates no bare legs. I get that.

But, I say, instead of hose, wear pants

Her Interpretation of Our Yard

Ray drew this picture tonight:


Seemingly innocent, right? Well, let me break it down for you like she did me...

Here we have a sky with rain clouds and rain:

The rain is falling on this flower and helping it grow:

This is Ray playing in our yard:

And this is our yard:


Let's take a closer look, shall we? (She didn't say that, I had to throw it in for a little dramatic flair.)

What's that blue spot, you ask? Maybe you didn't, but I did.

Dog poop.

Looks like Ray is telling Daddy he's got some yard work to do.

The Preparation, The Event, and The Aftermath

The Preparation

E picked Ray and Chay up early from school on Thursday so that they could go to the pumpkin patch and carve pumpkins. They each picked out what he was going to carve - Ray picked a witch and Chay picked a ghoul.

They also insisted on helping to gut the pumpkin.

Chay's World: "I want pumpkin guts!"

Here was our very successful end product:

According to E Mom, we had many compliments on the pumpkins

The Event

We tried to prepare as much as possible, but things were still a whirlwind. We learned our lesson last week and dressed Chay first. However, even though he was wearing the frog hat an hour before, he still wouldn't wear it when the time came. Ray, of course, made a beautiful Belle.

Since we weren't going to be home, we sat Grandma at the end of the driveway to hand out candy and drink.

This is Grandma after a few vodkas while handing out candy. Love ya, Grandma!

Our entourage included our neighbors Joe the Plumber (not the famous one), his soon to be ex wife, Kristen, and SpongeBob, their four year old daughter.

Fearlessness.

E made that situation really comfortable when he yelled to the girls, "Y'all be good. Just act like you're loyal to your husband!"

Screeching hault.

Joe the Plumber and Kristen and I stopped in our tracks with glaring stares. I gave Kristen full permission to kill him. She lovingly didn't take me up on it.

Let's move on.

Belle and SpongeBob grab some candy

We would have had a whole lot more loot at the end of the night if Chay had actually participated. He's a stubborn little dude and refused to trick or treat.

The first house we went to, they gave lollipops, which he insisted on eating first thing. He also insisted on not collecting any more candy until he was done with that lollipop. So he skipped ten houses. And, strangely, he was fine with that.

This is the frog king who won't trick or treat

Overall, we had a great halloween. We partied hard, ate lots of candy and didn't sleep. Wow, that made for a cranky Saturday.

Success.

The Aftermath

Spongebob tripped over a speedbump which ended our trick-or-treating prematurely. We really wanted to keep going, but since Spongebob was down for the count, Belle wanted nothing to do with continuing on. And, since Chay had his most recent lollipop, he didn't care about moving on either. So we gave up and had a party and Joe the Plumber's house.

While decompressing, Ray realized she had some blisters as a result of her Belle shoes. Nurse Spongebob was a huge help in applying bandaids:

Thanks, Nurse Spongebob!

We didn't get the kids into bed until midnight. Ray woke up from a nightmare at 4:30 am; Chay at 6 am. The house was active by 9. I'm exhausted, Good Night!