ADHD with a Side of Reading Learning Disability

Have I told you how much I worry about you? Because I do. But we will get you help. And then you will be brave and smart and strong and become whatever it is your heart dreams of, whether it be an engineer or a puppy groomer. Sorry, I won't let you become a professional Lego Star Wars gamer. No matter how much you beg.

You have been diagnosed with ADHD with a side of reading learning disability. I am struggling with how best to help you. The transition won't be easy. It will take trials with meds, tutoring, special classes with some hopefully great teachers. And if they aren't great, I will find you great ones. I promise.

I didn't know how to tell you we were taking you to get tested for whatever was holding you back in school with reading and writing. So I told you we were taking you to see a doctor who would help you read better. You said, "Good. Because I am behind in school." You even knew. I wish you could have told me how much trouble you were having.

When I told you we were going to see the pediatrician about getting medicine that will help you learn better, you said, "There's a medicine for that? I've never heard of such a thing!" Then shrugged and said, "That's cool."

You have made so much progress this year in every area, even reading, despite your struggles. We will get you help. I promise. And, about that busted lip? It wasn't your first fall and won't be the last. Those battle scars will only make you stronger and help you fight through this new fight. 

I love you, Buddy. You are my rock star.

Ray Likes Boys.

I recently separated from Ray and Chay's father. The kids are dealing with it well. However, Ray is concerned about me and my newly found dating status. On the way to the movies, Ray and I had the following conversation:

Ray: "Mommy, it's tough having a boyfriend."

Me: "Excuse me?"

Ray: "It's tough having a boyfriend. You will have to get used to it. They call you and stuff."

Me: "Excuse me? How do you know it's tough to have a boyfriend?"

Ray: " 'Cause I have three of 'em."

Me: "You have three boyfriends??? Who???" (Not shocked and could pretty much figure out who she was going to say...but still...she's never called them her boyfriends before.)

Ray: "Sheldon, of course, he's just plain funny. Then there's Alexander, because he's the cutest little thing. He's the shortest in the class, even more than me!"

Me: "I thought you were the shortest in your class?"

Ray: "Nope. Alexander is. He's the teeniest tiniest little cutie pie. And there's Andrew."

Me: "Is Andrew the one that isn't in your class but stares at you all the time?"

Ray: "Yep. Abbey and I chase him all the time."

Me: "I thought he wasn't your boyfriend?"

Ray: "He's not. I just like him. And he likes me. So people want to get us together."

She's 7. And I am unprepared for these conversations.

Herbert Higglebottom's Email

You know Elf on the Shelf? Well, Ray and Chay's Resident Elf is named Herbert Higglebottom.

And he's upset. Ray and Chay have not behaved the past few days. So they received the following email from Herbert this evening:

Herbert Higglebottom to ep.miller


*********************************************************************************************************************************************************************

From the Desk of Herbert Higglebottom

Audrey and Chayton Miller's Resident Elf

***********************************************************************************************************************


Dear Audrey and Chayton,


Due to my recent reports to Santa Claus about your behavior yesterday and today, Santa has decided to keep me back at the North Pole so he can watch you himself. He is concerned with your behavior and has decided that I am not to return until you can earn your way back onto the Nice List.


To earn my presence back, you need to be on your best behavior at all times and in all places. No fighting, fussing, crying or general rebelrousing! Goofyness is allowed of course. The goofier the better! (Unless you are disrupting class....then stop it!)

Now be good for goodness sake.


Regards,

Herbert

Herbert Higglebottom
Your Christmas Elf

The One Where Ray Cheered and Chay Rocked the Redskins

Ray had a chance to cheer with the Panther's cheerleaders for the game against the Redskins. We couldn't resist signing her up.

Ray and her mentor, Laura R.

The fun part of the whole thing is that she would be cheering at the half time of the Panthers v. Redskins game. How great is that?

So of course we had to dress the boy up in the Red and Gold's finest.

Charlotte used to be Redskins' territory prior to the Panthers. We found a parking lot hosting a Redskins tailgate. These two were a total hit.

Sworn Enemies

Yes. I did that to my son's head. And I'm proud of it.

Fans of both teams stopped us constantly wanting to take his picture. I can't tell you how many Facebook pages that kid is on.

And now, it's half time!

That's Ray, 7th from the bottom of the G on the 30th Yard Line

And that's her on the 4!

My girl was so proud of herself and I couldn't be more proud of her. She was a brave and beautiful little cheerleader. Now I need to come up with the money to keep her cheering for the next seven years!

I just wish the Skins won!

She's Famous

Ray: (Singing) Alright, uh huh, I'm famous, uh huh, alright, I'm famous...

Chay: What's famous mean?

Ray: It means you get whatever you want and you don't have to pay for it. Uh huh, I'm famous, alright, I'm famous...

She's famous alright.

She's Ramona

Family movie night was anchored by 2010's "Ramona and Beezus." Two fabulous quotes came out of Ray's mouth during the movie.

"I'm just like Ramona without the messed up hair!"

and

"I'm not even gonna watch this. It's just nonsense!"

I don't think I need to explain the first quote. The second was said during a scene in which Hobart proposes to Aunt B. Ray closed her ears, started humming and then came out with that humdinger. Thank goodness E was standing in front of the sink when he spit his beer out.

I guess she has something against marriage.

Roly Poly

I came home from work today, and Chay was excited to tell me about his new best friend.

Chay: Mommy, guess what!

Me: What? You went to Australia today?

Chay: What? What does that even mean?

Me: Nevermind. What do you want to tell me?

Chay: I made a new friend today!!!!

Me: Wow! Who is it?

Chay: His name is Roly Poly and he's a beetle. Did you know birds eat beetles? I hope a bird doesn't eat my new best friend. But he rolls up into a ball and he's a potato bug!!!!

Apparently, Chay is the bug equivilent of the Dog Whisperer.

Except, when he introduced me to Roly Poly, it was obvious that Roly Poly had been squished to death by a good intentioned 4-year old who just wanted to give his BFF a hug. Chay swore up and down and West that Roly Poly was sleeping. So he gave him several more hugs and placed him back on the lawn chair he was "sleeping" on.

Before bed, Chay had to give a night kiss to his BFF and came back inside crying his eyes out.

Chay: A bird ate Roly Poly!

Me: No, it didn't. (Thinking: Oh, crap! How do I deal with this???)

Chay: Yes, it did! Birds eat beetles! And Daddy said he couldn't come in the house! So, a bird ate him!

Me: (Cuddles while thinking, Oh, Crap!)

E: How do you know he didn't just wake up and crawl away?

Chay: Cuz he was up high on the chair! A bird ate him. It's all your fault!!! (Bawls and cuddles into me)

Me: I think Daddy's right. He could have unrolled himself and crawled down the leg. (Thanking E privately for that out)

Chay: You think? Maybe he stayed rolled up and he just rolled off?

Me: Of course! He just went into the woods. Maybe he'll come by tomorrow to say hi.

Chay: He's not coming back! A bird ate him! I need a bug box!

E: You've had two bug boxes and broken both of them. You aren't getting another bug box. Roly Poly is just fine.

Chay: I need a bug box. So I can keep my next Roly Poly in a cage.

Because that's how you treat your BFF. But, on the bright side, he's ready to move on to his next best friend...

Overheard Conversation

Chay: "Ray, Let me ask you a question." Ray: "What?" Chay: "How do you know everything?" Ray: "Huh?" Chay: "How do you know everything? You know about everything? How you know dat?" Ray: "I just feel it." Chay: "Like you feel the Earth?" Ray: "Yeah. I just feel it."

Ray is Almost as Big of a College Basketball Fan as Me

While we were at lunch today, the restaurant we were at had college hoops tournament games playing. Ray focused on the Kentucky v. WVU game, and as usual, she was rooting for whoever I was, which in this case, was WVU. She was cheering loud and taking it seriously. At one point, after WVU made a free throw to take the lead, but KY got the ball, her response was, "Oh, man, we may have a problem. Kentucky got the ball back!"

Ray was such a huge hit at the restaurant that the manager came over and asked us which game we wanted to hear over the sound system. He turned the music off so that my girl could listen to her basketball game. That's impressive.

Yep. She's my mini-me and I am proud.

My Chivalrous Little Man

Chay loves his mommy. A lot. He has my back and looks after me like my little man.

Chay likes to take his time at things, just like his dad. Its an annoying habit because he's slow. To get him  moving, E likes to say, "the last one there is a rotten egg!" For some reason, I am always in the back of the line, and this bothers Chay immensely. He refuses to let me be the rotten egg. If he thinks I will be, he yells, "Mommy, hurry! You need to beat daddy, you can't be the rotten egg!" Sometimes he'll even fall on the sword for me and be the rotten egg.

The other day, he didn't realize I was in last place when Daddy yelled, "Last one in the house is a rotten egg!" Chay stopped, gasped in horror, and grabbed my waist before stepping over the threshold. At the exact same time. Once inside, he said, "Now Mommy, neither of us are the rotten egg cuz we bof came thwough the door at the same time!"

Over the weekend, someone dropped a glass on the tile floor, which sent glass shreds all over the kitchen. While cleaning up the mess, I stepped on a tiny piece of glass and it is still wedged up in the ball of my foot. I was complaining about it when Chay asked what happened. I explained, and he sat down on the couch, tapped the seat next to him and said, "Mommy, sit down. I'll get it out for you." He sat there, analyzed my foot, dug around (it tickled) and claimed he found it and saved my foot. The glass is still there, but its the thought that counts.

If he keeps this up, he's going to be a good man when he grows up.

The Desert

Charlotte reached record heat today. And this is what Ray had to say about it:

Ray: Mommy, its so hot! Its like the desert! It was 76 degrees today. So hot! I am sweating.

Me: What are you talking about? You lived in Florida for the 5 of your 6 long years. This is winter weather.

Ray: No, Mommy, this is desert hot. I am melting.

This conversation was held at 7 pm when it was approximately 65 degrees. I guess my Florida girl has turned into a Northerner.

Tidbits

We recently took a spontaneous trip to Florida. I woke up at 7 a.m. and decided I was tired of being cold, so I texted E and said we were picking up Ray from Kindergarten at school at 2:30 and were going to be on 77 S by 2:35.

While we were at the beach on our first evening for a sunset, Chay decided it would be fun to randomly start punching Papa. Papa was laughing but respectfully asked him to refrain from punching him. He didn't, so E pulled him aside and had a little talk with him.

After the talk Chay came up and gave me a big hug and said he was sorry to ME. I didn't really understand what was happening until E piped up, "Not to Mommy, apologize to Papa!"

Chay responded, "But why? Papa's still happy with me!"

Ugh.

We Don't Eat God, Dear

We have recently started attending a very cool little Episcopalian church. Because last year sucked so brilliantly, and 2011 isn't looking up, I thought it was time to get the mini-me's into something positive. So, God, it was.

I really like this church. It was our second week attending, and it was our first week sending the kids to Sunday school, which they attend during the first 3/4 of the mass. At the beginning of the Offering, the Sunday school teacher sends the kids back to their parents for the rest of mass.

Last week I explained to Ray and Chay that during communion, the host represents Jesus' body and the wine represents his blood, which he gave to us when he was crucified and rose from the dead. Chay was a little freaked out and wanted "nuttin' to do wit dat bwood."

This week, Ray was a little enthusiastic about going to church. When it came time to go to Communion, she yelled, "Yeah, its time to eat God!"

Thankfully, only the people in front of us heard her. And, time for me to explain Communion a little better.

Putting a Positive Spin on 2010

In general, I cannot say that I am sad that 2010 is over. To put it mildly, 2010 sucked. But upon reflection, I am able to find some diamonds amidst all that mud.

I made new friends and reconnected with old ones. I bonded with family, grew closer to cousins I lost touch with, and became incredibly close to an Aunt I really never knew previously. I walked my daughter to her first day of Kindergarten (twice), and I gave my son his first (and second) mohawk. I laughed and cried with some of the best people in the world. I shared fabulous meals from DC to Key West to Winnipeg, ate lots of pizza, and rode some excellent roller coasters. I ran in a half marathon and jumped in bounce houses with the kids. I also watched many beautiful sunsets on the beach AND we threw snowballs.

Let's see how many better adventures we can have in 2011...

What's In a Name: Part 2

I hope Griffin is prepared for the wife that he is betrothed to, because she has already decided on their childrens' names. And by "prepared", I mean willing and able to accept without question. Because these names, well, I'll just let you decide.

According to Ray, they are having one boy and one girl. The girl will be the oldest (hmmm...wonder why) and her name will be .....

Jua.

I made her spell it for me so that I knew I heard it right. She likes how it sounds.

The boy's name will be Jariff. I'm guessing on the spelling, because she couldn't spell that one.

My guess is as good as yours as to where these came from.... at least they are creative!

School Daze: Day 1

For exactly one year, Ray has been harassing me about starting Kindergarten. "When will I start Kindergarten?" "When I turn six, will I be in Kindergarten?" "When I go to Kindergarten, I'm going to ride my bike to school." And, every morning for the past week, "Mommy, can I go to Kindergarten today? I know today is the day!"

Ray chose her (ugly, in my opinion) first day of school outfit and was prepared to ride her bike to school this morning. Why did it have to rain? She was so disappointed, but I promised her that the first sunny morning that she could ride her bike (luckily, we live less than a mile from the school so that's easy peasy). I'm just going to have to walk it back home, so that little adventure won't happen all that often.

She was all attitude walking into school. When her vice-principal said "Hi!", I told her his name. When I tried to tell her her principal's name, she was all uppity, "You know, Mommy, you've told me this before. You don't need to keep repeating it!"

Yet, she asked me five times on the way to school what her teachers name is. Go figure.

Miss Attitude

Once we walked into her classroom, Ray took control. She listened well at the meet 'n greet. Knew just what to do to check in and found her desk right away.

I was feeling all emotional this morning. I'm not supposed to be a mom of a school kid. Ever. They are supposed to stay babies, which means I'll never age. But, Ray is clearly ready to move on.

Don't most kids cry when their parents leave them on their first day of Kindergarten? Mine just straight up kicked me out of the room. But I didn't leave without a fight...

One last picture - with an attitude

What's In a Name?

Ray has been betrothed to a boy named Griffin since she was four and he was five. Griffin's parents are good friends of mine and E's, and we all love this idea. Hey, we already like our inlaws and they like us. The wedding would be one big party, and that's all that's important, right? Oh, and their daughter, Reese, has been promised to Chay, as well. The best of both worlds. For now, all four kids are on board with this idea. We'll see how they feel in, say, 20 years.

A day at the beach today led to a conversation between E and Ray about maiden names. She asked and was told my name before I married E, Nana's name before she married Papa, and Grandma's name before she married Grandpa.

Ray: What will my name be when I marry Griffin?

E: L***

Ray: Hmmm.... Ray L***. I like that. Ray... what was that name again?

E: L***

Ray: Oh, OK, Ray L***. Will Chay's name be Chay L*** when he marries Reese?

E: No, he is a boy, so he'll still be Chay M***.

Ray: Oh, I get it. So he'll be Chay M*** and Reese will be Reese M***. I hope Chay's mother-in-law will like that.

Of course, I immediately had to call my future inlaw and let her know that my daughter is already concerned about her feelings on their future marriages. Ray will make a perfect daughter-in-law one day. I just hope Reese is just as perfect. I have a feeling she will be.

Princess Peach and Bowser

Ray and Chay received a birthday party invitation today. The theme is Super Mario Bros. and the party is for two little brothers who are turning 7 and 4. The boys' mom is super creative and created these little cards for the kids to rub off lottery ticket-like thingies and discover which characters they will represent at the party.

Being a Super Mario Bros. novice, I had to rely on Ray and Chay's identifying the characters for me. Birthday boys' mom wisely made Ray a Princess - Princess Peach, I have been informed. Chay scratched off his card and found out he was Luigi. Fits have been thrown over this one.

Turns out Luigi is a good guy, and Chay has decided that he is a bad guy, through and through. He wants to be Bowser:

Because "He's got spikey things on his back and wikes to wun over cars." He makes me so proud sometimes.

When asked why he likes Bowser's spikey back, Chay responded, "Cuz I's gots staples in my head and dose are spikey!"

I have relented and told him he can be Bowser. Ray was the mediator and the agreement was reached when Chay agreed he wouldn't run over any cars or hurt anyone. I tried to throw in a no fit throwing clause, but I lost that argument.

So, Bowser it is.

Frankenstein (aka The Bull)

Chay has earned his nickname, "The Bull," many times over.

Originally, we started calling him Bull because he would indiscriminately run into something. A glass sliding door? Walked right into it and left a perfect face print on it.

Another time, Chay took off running head first into the TV cabinet. Bounced off of it and landed flat on his back. He just laid there and stared up at the ceiling. I watched him, praying that he didn't knock himself out. He didn't, I guess he was just thinking about what a stupid move that was. About a minute later, he stood up, shook his head and took off running full speed ahead directly to his right. And directly into the wall.

Friday night, The Bull was was rough housing in Ray's room, and he decided to dive off of her bed into a pile full of toys. I was in the living room hanging out with friends when he came out crying. Being used to it his antics, I didn't think much of it and figured it was just another bump or bruise. Until I found my hand covered in blood.

Head wounds like to bleed. And they don't stop easily. I took him to the ER at Gulf Coast Memorial Hospital. Thankfully they weren't crowded, but we were still there for five long hours. Chay was a trooper...he played and laughed and entertained everyone in the waiting room. You never would have known that his head was spewing blood. Well, except for me having to chase him down constantly to wipe it up.

In the end, it took two male nurses and the PA to hold The Bull down to treat him. He can be strong when he wants to fight you (which, truth be told, is often). They put four staples into the gash in the back of his head. He really didn't like that, but he did like the gummy bears I gave him. I normally wouldn't give my three year old gummy bears at 1:00 in the morning, but it seemed like the thing to do at the time.

The staff at Gulf Coast Memorial ER were awesome. They put four staples in a fearless three year old's head professionally, gently, and amazingly, pretty easily.

The Bull even earned a new teddy bear. He is proud to say that its the second teddy bear he has been given from an emergency worker. I say that's a trend that needs to stop.

A Little Ray and A Little Chay

Ray

Ray likes to make up songs, the sillier, the better. She made this one up in the restroom at Chili's today:

(Sung to the tune of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town")

I'm going to poop,
I'm going to pee,
I'm going to poop,
And I'm telling you why,

You need to get out of the bathroom, right now.

________________________________________________

Chay

Chay has been in a goofy mood lately. Silly boy, 100%. He's been in the best of moods, and he is making up all kinds of ways to cuddle.

Today's version of kissing:

Mommy, let me kiss you on the lips (Kisses me on the lips)
Mommy, now the cheek (Kisses me on the cheek)
Mommy, let me kiss you on the nose (Kisses me on the nose)
Mommy, now the forehead (Smacks me in the forehead with his hand.)
Mommy, now THAT'S funny!!!!

Yeah, not so much.